I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
