I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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