My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
