i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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