I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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