yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
