We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
