i don't like sucking hair
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i've created a new STD.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
