So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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