did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I didn't notice because vodka
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize