I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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