You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
