Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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