she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
