All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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