wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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