I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize