So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
