she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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