it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
