All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
