Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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