I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
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