I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
