I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
