You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
