i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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