New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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