y did u give ur computer a hand job?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
