Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
