Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
