No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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