Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize