I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
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Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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