I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
