I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
