goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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