OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
