we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
