Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
