I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
