sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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