Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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