am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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