I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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