i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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