My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
