So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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