Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I need help removing her.
I cockslap morals
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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