It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize