So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
