I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
