That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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