We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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