he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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