I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
