The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
