You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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