redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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