i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am naked and annoyed.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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