and she was petting her beer can
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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