Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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