And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
