there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
