Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
