I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
